How to build a happy relationship

       “Being in love is not a state but a becoming”, said the Italian psychologist Francesco Alberoni in I Love You – A Theory Of Love (Pocket, 1993). This reference is just one of the countless studies made by couple therapists who insisted on the evolutionary way of being in love .

        One thing is more than popular knowledge: nobody wants to be alone. Probably one of the biggest fears that humanity faces nowadays is the terrible thought of being alone. Not having somebody by your side can make you feel depressed, that is why single people tend to get depressed more often than people that are in a stable relationship. Is there a key ingredient to have a happy relationship? Of course there is, but the thing is that this special ingredient is made by you and your half, it isn’t something that you can read in a book and then apply it in real life because every individual is unique and so is every couple.

      Your partner says something… pay attention to what he has to say

      After some years of being in a relationship with somebody some of the passion mellows down. Of course you love each other, but you also get used to the things your partner does every day. Being in a relationship can turn into a habit and this can sometimes have consequences when it comes to the happiness of each other. Pay attention to what your partner has to say. When we get used to a person we tend to hear only some things that he or she has to communicate.

      Maybe we are tired after work or we have to clean the house and the last thing that we want to do is to pay attention to what our half has to say. Make time for this relationship, invest patience, because even if you don`t do much just by listening, you get to understand what the other needs and maybe his or her requirements aren`t that hard to meet. Maybe you want the best for this relationship and you`d be capable of doing what your partner wants you to do to make him happy. If you are happy in your relationship, make sure your sweetheart is, too.

     Fights might lead to something good

     Don`t be afraid of arguments and don`t keep silent just to avoid conflict. It is best to be honest about the things that bother you. Otherwise your partner will keep on doing something that annoys you because you weren`t open with your pet peeves. Fighting can be productive because you will both know how to react in a certain situation and respect one another`s way of being.

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